New Beginnings
by Babyfrocks
Summary: I see now that If a lie is repeated often enough, it becomes the truth. Because now, this one lie has become what my world sees as the truth. And there's nothing I can do the convince him that it's not. He thinks I'm a liar.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Edward, I-I have to tell you something," I started. When I had spoken those words, there was no way I could have predicted the events that would unfold. I had always thought our relationship could stand the test of time and the criticism of others, but I hadn't anticipated that our bond would be so easily broken over secrets and lies. We've had secrets and we had lied before. Now when I needed him to believe that I was telling the truth, he couldn't trust me.

The sinking feeling in my stomach increased when his arms tightened around my waist to give me comfort in this uncomfortable situation.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any content that belongs to Stephanie Meyer. This scene starts with Bella and Edward leaving Isle Esme but they don't know she's pregnant yet and the pregnancy isn't accelerated it is a normal pregnancy.**

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**1. A Sun-drenched World**

***Bella***

Before boarding the private plane, I was feeling off. I couldn't figure out what was wrong, but I knew I didn't feel like myself. I wasn't hungry. My stomach didn't feel too good thousands of feet in the air. The plane shook and the glasses on the table rattled. I took a calming breath, closed my eyes and envisioned Isle Esme, the sights and sounds, and a very naked Edward. That was interrupted when the plane hit another dip. I clutched Edward's hand for dear life. He shook with laughter.

"Oh, shut up." I hit him on the chest.

"Your anxiety is quite ridiculous and adorable." Edward lifted and placed a kiss on the hand that had his in a death grip.

"Ridiculous? We are in the middle of a storm. With my luck, we may fall out of the sky," I muttered.

He lifted my chin and answered smoothly, "That's very unlikely. I'd save you."

The plane pitched again and so did my stomach. I snapped my eyes shut trying to concentrate on not throwing up. "I feel sick."

"Look at me, Bella." His other hand rested on the side of my face rubbing my cheek.

"I can't. I don't want to be sick all over you."

"Trust me. If you focus on one thing, it will settle you."

I opened my eyes only looking into Edward's honey colored eyes. "Feel better?" he asked quietly a few moments later.

"Sort of."

"Let's move to the couch," he suggested.

I stood up cautiously, but ended up catching my foot on the leg of the table. Edward caught me before my face connected with the armrest.

"Bella."

"Sorry."

He swept me up and carried me to the couch. He positioned us so that I was lying comfortably with my head cushioned by a pillow on his lap. His cool fingers ran through my hair. The motion caused me to finally be able to relax. Edward began to hum a tune I'd never heard before. This was nice. We were wonderfully alone. As soon as we got home, life would come crashing into our blissful world.

"I want to go back to the island," I said drowsily.

"As delightful as that sounds you were the one who suggested getting all of your goodbyes out of the way before your change."

I sighed. A quick goodbye would enable us to make a clean break. This was the only way. "I knew being responsible would come and bite me in the ass one day." I said, opening my eyes, "I'm going to miss being alone with you."

"You have no idea how hard it is to have a private moment in my house."

"Fill me in now."

"They won't tease you mercilessly; they're really coming for me."

"What are we going to do? I don't think I can go without you for more than a day."

"We'll figure something out."

"How are you feeling now?"

"Much better."

I unwisely looked out the window to the endless blue outside. It was making me feel disoriented again. I had Edward pull down the shutters on all the windows to ease the feeling in my stomach. It worked for the most part.

"I read somewhere that ginger tea can help settle an upset stomach."

"You don't have to do that. I'm fine with you holding me in the dark."

"All right."

I napped peacefully until I woke up with the urgency to throw up. I sat straight up holding my stomach and taking deep breaths. Edward turned on the light. We were in a small bed room.

"Where's the bathroom?"

"The door on the left."

The last time I remembered getting sick was two years ago, when Jake and I managed to catch the same bug. I remembered throwing up all the time. The ripe, burning smell, the sight of my partially digested food…The vivid memory had me dry heaving before I got to the bathroom. I kneeled over the toilet with Edward holding my hair back in the tiny space. He helped me stand. I wanted my toothbrush. Edward instinctively got it for me and waited outside the bathroom. After I cleaned up, I went immediately to his arms for comfort.

"You're not well," he observed. I nodded but there wasn't much he could do for me now. I just wanted to be off of this plane and finally get home.

"How much longer before we land?"

"Thirty minutes," he answered.

I took a deep breath smelling Edward's sweet scent.

The airport was teeming with people. We pushed through the crowd to get to the car. Edward put his coat around my shoulders. The valet pulled up with the Volvo. The wind howled outside, stirring up the snow and slush. I hopped in and rubbed my arms vigorously. We'd made our way from Seattle into Forks. I sighed in relief that we were almost home. Fallen snow, street lights and the green forests melted in to a strange molten blur against the black night.

"How long has it been since you last ate, Bella?" Edward asked.

I didn't answer him and he noticed my reluctance.

"Bella?"

"Breakfast," I said under my breath knowing he'd hear me either way.

"What do you want?" he asked, already turning off the main highway onto an exit.

I wasn't hungry. The thought of food made me sick to my stomach.

"Nothing."

"Try something, please."

"No, I'm not hungry right now," I insisted. "Besides, it's snowing outside. We should be heading home where I won't get frostbite." Then, my stomach growled loudly. I cursed quietly.

His jaw clinched and his brows furrowed together. "That's it. You're eating. Soup at least."

"Do I get a choice in the matter?" I snapped, suddenly annoyed with his persistence.

"This is what's best for you." He stopped at the nearest gas station.

I rolled my eyes.

He huffed, yanking the keys out of the ignition and slammed the door. When he came back, he was a little bit calmer and handed me the bag with a can in it.

After a few moments, Edward looked at me his brow furrowed. Then he pressed his hand against my forehead, checking my temperature. "You are much warmer than usual."

"Edward, stop," I growled, folding my arms across my chest defiantly.

"I am trying to take care of you."

"Did you ever think I was capable of doing the same?" On the verge of tears, the words popped out thoughtlessly, "You're overbearing sometimes." I couldn't find a way to take them back. _Why did I say that? _Edward didn't respond. His eyes were cold and fixed on the road.

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**Oh Edward when will you learn...Please review it's like a hot fudge Sunday with a warm blanket to curl up with. **

**~Tiffany**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Stephanie Meyer's work.**

**This story will not be like Breaking Dawn. I'm going in a different direction.**

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**2. The Honeymoon's Over**

***Edward***

Overbearing. That's what she thought of me. She was pale, shivering, and the smell of sickness clung to her skin and hair. She couldn't possibly expect me to be okay with it. Bella had never been this short tempered with me; it was unusual. Her head was propped up against the window and her eyes were closed. She wasn't asleep; I could hear her breathing.

I stopped staring at her and concentrated on the road. My worrying didn't cease. I wanted to call Carlisle, but I had a feeling a call would escalate this situation further. I'd wait until we were home. As I drove, I listened carefully to the thrumming of her heart and monitored every breath she took. I pressed my foot on the gas more firmly, anxious to get her home.

When, we finally got home, I parked in the garage. I could hear everyone's excitement that we were home. Humming a bright tune in the kitchen, Esme was intensely focused on preparing Bella's dinner. I was tempted to smile. Too bad Bella wouldn't eat it. Inside the living room Alice's thoughts were concerned. _Give it up, Edward. You can't force her to do anything, _she thought. Of course I already knew that. Why hadn't Alice told Esme that Bella had gotten sick? I couldn't hear anymore of Alice's thoughts since she was blocking me with seventies music. I cringed.

Having been distracted, I didn't that notice Bella got out of the car, and stood with her hand on the car door. I watched her face screw up the same way it had on the plane. I was immediately at her side.

"Just leave me alone," she said.

We'd been inseparable for three weeks, so leaving her alone now would be impossible. Her pain was my pain.

"Bella, please," I breathed.

She turned her head to look at me. Her brown eyes were rimmed red with faint dark circles underneath them. I sucked in a breath. How had she gotten so tired? She'd been asleep half of the flight home. She darted her eyes away. Her heart sounded like it was going to beat out of her chest.

"Let's go inside," she murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. As she walked towards the house, her knees suddenly gave in. I caught her around her waist. Her skin was damp despite the cold and wet weather.

"I'm dizzy," she slurred faintly. I regretted not following my instinct to call Carlisle.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Sleep," she replied. It worried me that she was spending so much time sleeping.

Her head weakly fell against my chest as shocked eyes took in her appearance. I scanned the house for Alice's thoughts, wondering what was causing Bella to act like this, but I found nothing; Alice was gone. Giving up on Alice, I took Bella up to my room, which hadn't changed at all since we left on our honeymoon, and laid her under my comforters, treating her like a delicate china doll. As I waited for her to sleep, I paced the length of the room, concern eating away at me.

Carlisle's worried thoughts broke through to me. _Is everything okay?_

"Come in, please. She's sick and refuses to eat," I said, sighing heavily. I ran my hand through my hair. "She's too weak to even walk." I was teetering closely on panic.

_I'll take a look at her._

Carlisle already had his medical supplies from his study in hand when he came through the door. He immediately noted her damp skin and rapid heartbeat. _Did she experience any dizziness or nausea on the plane?_ I nodded. With a simple blood sugar test his suspicions were confirmed. _Her blood sugar is too low. That's why she got weak. It's best to let her rest for now_._ When she wakes up she has to eat._

"She…She won't listen," I said frustrated. "I should have called you from Port Angeles…then this wouldn't have happened."

"I'll talk to her, dear," Esme said, walking through the opened door.

I hesitated to follow Esme down stairs. _She'll be sleeping the rest of the evening, Edward. Let her rest. _She was right.

Everyone except Alice and Jasper were downstairs. Emmett had his feet stretched out on the couch; he'd been watching a football game. Rosalie was concentrated on the fashion magazine in front of her. "How is she?" Emmett asked. _She was as pale as one of us._

Rosalie rolled her eyes, thinking this was just me overreacting again to a small problem, and wondering when she could have Emmett's attention back on her.

"She'll feel better when she gets something in her stomach," I said. "Where are Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice ran out the back door when you came home. That girl's been acting strange all week long. It's good to have you home, Bro. I wish it would have been on better terms, though," Emmett said.

I smelled something burnt in the air. Esme ran in to the kitchen, and I followed her. She stared at the burnt risotto with a frown. "Look at this. I wanted to surprise her with a home cooked meal."

"Risotto is tricky," I said with a small smile.

"You know how to cook this?"

"I got a lot of practice while staying on the island. The trick is don't get distracted."

Esme laughed knowingly. "Did you enjoy the island?" She emptied the burnt rice into the garbage then tied the bag. I moved to wash the dishes.

"It was the happiest time of my life. We never wanted to leave."

"I know the feeling," she said, taking the pan from me to dry it. "I have another gift for you and Bella." She thought of a small cottage. It was quaint, modest and perfect for Bella. I hoped she would accept it. "I intended to take you to see right away. Maybe you can take her yourself when she feels up to it."

She placed a pair of keys in my hand and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Esme."

She lowered her voice and said, "You're going to need your privacy."

"That's right! Little Eddie's a man now." Emmett laughed.

"Shut it, Emmett." Rosalie hit him across the head with a magazine.

I chuckled. It was definitely good to be home. I went to my piano. My fingers ached to touch the ivory keys, so I tested the pitch with a few exercises. Satisfied with the way it sounded, I began to play what I hummed to Bella on the plane. The music flowed freely. In my mind I imagined an orchestra supporting the heavy bass lines. I hummed with satisfaction. The tenor of the cello rang clearly over the lines I played taking me to a new place. The pushing meter caused the song to build anxiously and swell. My fingers stopped on the keys when I heard Bella's breathing hitch. She started snoring softly a second later. I found the sound to be quite adorable.

_Don't stop, _Esme thought to me just as Alice flitted into the room. Jasper followed behind her. Alice was vividly upset; she was doing everything she could to control her emotions. And she was still blocking me.

"I can't talk to either of you about this. It's not my place." _Don't ask me anything, _Alice thoughts opened up to me temporarily. Her hurt was evident and she was disappointed in me. What did she see? She fled up stairs to her room. Jasper ran behind her. _Edward,_ _I don't know what's going on with Alice. She's been depressed for days and she isn't opening up to me. Alice has never shut me out before. _I heard Alice's tearless sobbing. Jasper was helpless to do anything for her except calm her with his ability.

Unable to continue composing, I went upstairs to be with Bella. I held her close, wanting nothing more than to feel her warm body. I let the sound of her beating heart lull me into a deep meditative state. This was the closest I would ever get to sleeping. I knew that the inky blackness of the night would eventually yield to the dim morning light invading my brief moment of peace.

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**Please Review. I love hearing from my readers. 3 ****It's the only way I know you're there.**

******~Tiffany **


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Stephanie Meyer's work.**

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**3. A Sign**

***Edward***

Bella had woken up the next morning in an unusually quiet mood. She barely acknowledged my presence before she went to the bathroom to take a shower. She didn't seem upset as she mumbled a good morning to Esme who was sitting in the kitchen flipping through an interior design magazine.

"Bella, how are you feeling this morning?" Esme asked, looking up to examine Bella's appearance; her eyes still held some redness but the faint circles underneath them had faded away and her natural color had returned to her cheeks.

"I have my appetite back."

"I'm sure Edward will make you something. Come and sit."

I walked to the fridge, pulling out eggs, flour, butter, sugar and raspberries. I whipped together a quick batter then poured it into the hot buttered pan. Once I had several crepes made, I arranged the dish exactly how I'd seen it on the TV. I thought I would find Bella watching me cook when I turned around; instead, she had her head resting on her arms. Her mind was somewhere else.

I placed the plate on the table and knelt down so that I was at eye level with her. "Bella?"

"Sorry, I-I was day dreaming," she stammered, snapping out of the other world she'd been in all morning and a delicate blush formed on her cheeks. I was tempted to smile but I didn't.

"Here's your breakfast, love," I said, pushing the plate in front of her.

"Thank you." She smiled but it didn't touch her eyes. We needed to talk about what happened yesterday but not here.

"How do you feel about going for a walk today?" I asked, moving to the seat next to her. As I watched her shovel the food into her mouth, I worried that her stomach wouldn't be able to handle it. She needed to slow down. "I have something to show you."

"All right." Her eyes were focused on her empty plate.

"Go get dressed, and I'll clean up down here."

"Okay."

She stood up. I watched the way her long hair swayed as she walked away. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. I heard Bella say good morning to Alice on her way upstairs. Alice then zipped in to the kitchen. She avoided looking at me and sat down next to Esme.

"Good morning, Esme, Edward," Alice said.

"Good morning. How are you, my dear?" Esme asked.

"It's getting better," she said vaguely.

"Alice, tell me what's going on," I demanded.

"It's not for me to tell," she said sadly.

Frustrated, I picked up the plate and threw it into sink not caring if it had broken.

"Throwing a tantrum isn't going to make me talk either," Alice said patiently.

_Edward, was that necessary? _I heard Esme sigh, scolding me with her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I said, cleaning up the broken glass. Then I put the rest of the dishes away. I was grabbing Bella's coat from the coat closet when she walked downstairs wearing a blue, long-sleeved sweater, jeans, and rain boots. Her hair was pulled back away from her face, giving me a tantalizing view of her neck.

"Here's your coat," I said. She took it when I offered it to her, still not looking me in the eyes.

"We're going out the back door," I told her. "Climb on."

Taking off out the side door and in to the back forest, I could feel her warm cheek against my back and the steady rhythm of her heart. Then I took off out the side door and into the forest. The wind rushing through my hair was exhilarating. The river that divided our land presented a problem though.

"I have to jump over it."

Bella's arms tightened around my neck. "Okay, go."

I leaped over and heard Bella's squeal. In no time at all, we were close to our cottage. I stopped a few yards away from the tiny clearing that would reveal our new home. I let Bella down from my back.

"Where are we?"

"Before we get to that, why won't you look at me?" I asked not being able to stand another minute of it.

Her small hands fiddled with a loose thread on her shirt; she was anxious. I grasped her hand gently and laced my fingers with hers, hoping to calm her.

She sighed and finally looked at me. Her eyes were glassy. The buildup of tears fell on to her cheeks. I gently took her face between my hands and brushed each tear away.

"I'm sorry for what I said yesterday," she mumbled. "I don't know why I got so upset…"

I kissed her forehead, letting my arms fall around her.

"I called you overbearing, and I didn't mean it."

"I overreacted yesterday."

She shook her head determined to get me to see that I wasn't at fault in part for what happened yesterday and said, "You were only trying to take care of me."

"I can't force you to do anything you don't want to do. If that means letting you take care of yourself, that's what I'll do."

"I was wrong." She ducked her head in shame.

"Look at me." She slowly looked up. "I'm not perfect either."

With that she threw her arms around me. I thought she would start crying again, but she remained calm taking deep breaths.

"Did you really want to show me something out here?" she asked a moment later.

I pulled the key out from my pocket and placed it in her hand. "Of course. Come on." I playfully tugged her along until we reached the clearing.

The house was more beautiful in person. It seemed as if it belonged here. Honeysuckle climbed up one wall like a lattice, winding all the way up and over the thick wooden shingles. The window boxes under the deep set windows were empty. There was a stone path leading up to the quaint arched wooden door.

Bella was silent behind me.

"Do you like it?"

"We have our own house," she said.

"Yes, we do." I moved to stand behind her and slid my arms around her waist. "And don't forget privacy."

"I like the sound of that," she said.

I kissed her neck tentatively, unsure of what she wanted, and then her lips. Her response was hesitant then she brushed her tongue across my bottom lip. As she deepened the kiss, our tongues gently caressed each other's. Her wonderful breath fanned over me when I pulled away.

I felt my lips break in to a smile. She took my hand and led me to the door. Once she had it open, I scooped her up in my arms and dashed to the bedroom.

Bella's hands moved underneath my shirt. I lifted my arms so she could get it over my head. I threw her sweater across the room in the growing pile. In one fluid motion, I turned her around, pulling her body flush against mine. The sharp contrast caused us to gasp. My hands held on to her hips as I pushed my need against her.

A soft sigh fell from her lips.

I loved that sound.

"Perfect," I said softly behind her ear.

She pulled my face up and kissed me deliberately. Her hips moved in slowly against me, and I moved in tandem. I wanted more of her. I pulled against me harder. My breathing grew ragged, and I tore my lips away from hers.

I moved Bella on to the bed, settling myself between her thighs; she let out a gust of air and then clutched my hair. My forehead rested against hers; her deep brown eyes bored into mine. I saw past her desire, and discovered her desperation to show me that she was sorry. I needed to show her in the same way. I hoped that my actions declared to her how much I needed her every second of the day and that nothing could ever drive a wedge between us.

I kissed the soft flesh of her stomach, traveling lower, closer to the place where her wetness pooled. I removed her pants and underwear slowly, kissing each segment of newly exposed skin. My nose skimmed back up to the top of her thigh.

"Edward, I need you," she whimpered, grabbing my shoulders.

Bella removed my pants, pushing her heat onto my desire. A growl rumbled in my chest. As I fought to hold onto what shreds of control I had left, I didn't realize she had repositioned herself causing my tip to slide into her. The sensation almost caused me to snap.

Her scent and the heat of her body brought me back.

"Bella," I groaned, capturing her lips.

Her hips moved against me, urging me to push into her. I stopped her movements with my hands. My intensions were to be gentle and passionate and she planned to undo them. I started to move, wanting nothing more than to make love to her. Her patience was short; she started to bite me in between kisses. It was maddening because she knew I couldn't return the favor, just yet. I moved faster, taking her nipple in to my mouth. Her body writhed against me. She was very close. Her back arched, as clinched around me tightly. My body shook when I met my release.

I kissed her lightly, and then moved her so that she fit within my arms and the top of her head was underneath my chin.

"I've missed this," I said when I realized she wasn't going to sleep.

"Mmm, me too." She pressed her face against my chest and inhaled.

Her heart took off in her chest. I looked down to see Bella chewing on her lip nervously.

"What is it, love?"

"Would you be upset if we changed our plans?"

"That depends. What plans are you referring to?"

"My immortal ones," she mumbled.

"Bella?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this…" she averted her eyes from me, her eyebrows puckered. "I need more time."

"You need longer than a week to say goodbye. That's doable."

"No, Edward, I need a year or two."

I knew she'd never be ready to take on something as serious as turning in to a vampire. No one could ever be perfectly prepared. But this was not like her. She was so determined to be a part of my life. I had gotten used to the idea on our honeymoon. Selfishly, I longed for the day I could touch her without having to worry about breaking her and making love to her without restraint.

"It was all you'd been asking for." It was impossible to hide the disappointment in my voice.

"This morning everything sort of crashed into me: the wedding, our life, and saying goodbye." She locked her arms around my neck and pulled her body closer to mine. "I want to be free to do whatever I want with you without bloodlust clouding my every thought." She kissed my chin, neck, and shoulder sending a pulse of desire through my veins. "And above everything else I want to make you happy."

"I'm happy as long as you're happy. I don't want you making this decision to appease me," I said gravely. "Is this what you want, Bella?"

"Yes. I don't want my first year of marriage to be clouded by bloodlust; I'd rather have it clouded with my lust for you."

"Ahh, so sex was the answer."

"You're welcome," she whispered in my ear. She slipped her legs between mine causing me to inadvertently press my desire against her.

"You're a dangerous creature." I closed my lips over hers appreciating the sweetness of her mouth. She moaned and beckoned me with her body. We made love again the way I had intended. Exhausted, Bella drifted asleep in my arms. She could never know the breadth of love I had for her.

***Bella***

I really had to do something about my over active imagination. The little boy with bright red eyes was back in my dreams; I guess he'd stuck with me. The boy was crying and alone as he had been in my dream this morning. I was instantly attracted to him and overcome with the desire to protect him in my dream. When I finally reached him, he vanished like a mirage. For the second time today I longed to see him again…I couldn't figure out why.

I could feel that I was tangled in soft linen sheets. Stretching my arm out, I expected to hit Edward, but the sheets were empty. I shifted so that I was sitting up and scanned the darkness for a light switch. When I failed at that I got out of bed and padded into the hallway following the smell of food and the sound of chopping. The kitchen was as amazing as the rest of our little cottage. The low ceiling had long, exposed beams. There was a bar with a stone counter and four bar stools matching the dark wooden cabinets. There was a wood-framed window that opened up to the trees and the full moon.

Edward was standing over the stove shirtless and wearing a pair of low rise jeans, giving me a perfect view of his sculpted back and the dimples just above his butt. I couldn't imagine a more perfect fairytale than the one I was in—Prince Charming half naked.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked smiling until he saw that I was still naked.

His eyes raked over me, growing darker. His smile turned into a wicked smirk. He moved towards me at a human pace and wrapped his arms around me.

"You are a vision." Edward kissed my neck, raising goose bumps across my skin. I would usually follow up Edward's attempt to seduce me but I was focused on what smelled so good.

"What are you cooking? It smells amazing in here!"

Edward chuckled. "Seared salmon and a dessert I plan to lick off your body."

"Edward, you hate human food." The fact that his lust for my body had driven him to want to lick anything of me was amusing.

"Anything on you would be delicious," Edward said and sucking the side of my neck.

I heard something boil over and sizzle on the burner.

"Edward, the food."

He shook his head as if he were an etch-a-sketch. "Oh."

He turned off the stove, murmuring something about having to start over. I took that as my opportunity to go shower since I was a major distraction. As much as I enjoyed my ability to unravel Edward, I didn't want my food to suffer. After my shower, I went in search of my clothes. The closet wasn't hard to find. It was bigger than our bedroom. There were white dress-bags, encasing gown after gown; Alice was a mad woman. When would I ever wear such things? Maybe they were for after my change. I almost gave up until I found the white dresser at the end of the closet. It was full of jeans and knit tops. I opened another draw and found the lingerie. I put on the most modest one; it fell above my knees, though it was all lace.

I stepped out of the closet and found Edward at the door.

"I was wondering what was taking you so long. That's very nice on you."

"Thank you. I'm starving."

"I'd be delighted to feed you."

I sat down at the bar. Sitting across from me, he pulled apart the salmon and placed it, in to my mouth. The outside of the salmon was crisp and impossibly buttery; it melted in my mouth. As he was about to pull his fingers away from my mouth, I grabbed his hand and cleaned his thumb and forefinger. I heard his breathing stagger.

"Careful, love."

I smirked, and continued just eating with my fingers. I watched as Edward's eyes flickered from my hand to my mouth. When I was down to the last piece, I sucked the butter off of my fingers.

"That was great! Is there more?"

"How about we save the dessert for later? I wanted to speak to you about our plans."

"Plans?"

"Now that we have some time to do whatever we want, I thought college should be brought back into the picture."

College. Ugh, college. I was over the school social dynamics and petty girls, but then I looked in to Edward's eyes and saw the expectation rising in them.

"I never did defer Dartmouth, and I could get us into a few more places with no questions asked," Edward said.

"Fine. I'm only doing this for you. I really don't see what I would be missing out on besides drama and drunkenness."

"You'll like it when you get there. I promise."

Edward and I spent the remainder of the evening in the living room in front of the fireplace with him feeding me a rich chocolate dessert. The fire's light danced across the woven pattern of smooth flat stones on the floor. The walls were warm wood in some places, stones mosaics in others. It was truly something from a fairytale. I wondered how I'd gotten so lucky.

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**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Since I don't get paid for this, all I have are your reviews. Let me know what you think and what I should improve upon.**

**~Tiff**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Meyer's books or ideas. **

**A/N: This chapter may seem like a rehash of Breaking Dawn but it isn't. My goal is to write a story with substance not fluff. I want to explore Bella and Edward's relationship more in depth than Meyer ever thought to. I feel like Breaking Dawn was a terrible mistake. The readers really didn't know how much Bell and Edward's relationship grew because the whole damn pregnancy was written in Jacob's perspective. **

**Thank you to my beta Trilby97.**

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**4. Goodbyes**

***Bella***

All I could remember was running. Fear and anxiety pushed my feet as I ran. Even though this was a dream, it felt real. The images my mind conjured were vivid and detailed. I clutched a tight bundle to my chest. Nothing, I thought, could will it from my grasp. When I thought I was safe, I stopped by a small stream. My heart still thundered in my ears uneasily. Before looking to see what was tightly swaddled in the bundle, I checked for any strangers. Everything was clear and peaceful. In my haste I didn't have the time to appreciate the beauty of my surroundings. Strong evergreens shielded the clearing, and from what I could see from the moon light, purple flowers peppered the clearing. The night was calming now, and the fear had left me.

There was squirming and a faint cooing sound coming from what I held closely. Curious, I pulled back the white cloth revealing a set of stunning green eyes, pale skin, and rosebud lips. The baby's soft features resembled someone I knew, but I was too distracted by the child's green eyes to remember. I brushed the back of my forefinger against the child's cheek and alabaster eyebrows. The baby was absolutely beautiful. Almost too beautiful.

I woke up to the sound of the piano. Its beautiful cadence floated up the stairs. Soft yellow light was pouring into the room through the large window. I took a deep breath, remembering the dream I'd had. My stomach tightened. Edward would freak out if I told him about the dream. I pushed the thought away.

I sat up and stretched. Edward's...wait…our room was filled with boxes having yet to be moved down stairs and into the truck that would take it to our new home in Chicago. Our decision to change schools was a compromise of sorts; I would still indulge Edward's college fantasy, just not at Dartmouth. If we were going to school together I thought it should be an enjoyable experience for the both of us. Northwestern had a phenomenal music program. Dartmouth's paled in comparison.

While I still loved my classic novels, I became enticed by music. The more Edward played and composed the more curious I became. I had no interest in learning piano, yet I wanted to understand the beautiful medley of notes Edward played.

As I was about to plop back into the bed, the sound of the lulling composition cut off abruptly and was replaced with the feeling of two cold arms around my waist, which caused my heart to jolt.

I moaned blearily then placed a kiss on his cheek. "There, you got your kiss." I snuggled closer to his chest ready to sleep more.

"I wanted more than a kiss, my love." He moved my hair out of the way and placed a kiss in the crook of my neck—his favorite spot—and on my shoulder. I sighed, trying not to smile. Sleeping with Edward these days was almost impossible. "Don't you like this?" he murmured into my neck as he ran his hand over my waist, stopping it under my breast.

_How could I not?_ My grogginess was waning, gradually being replaced with burning desire. He began peppering feather light kisses on my face and neck with kisses. The feel of his lips dancing across my skin caused me to giggle.

"I'm trying to get more sleep," I laughed.

"I've been waiting ten hours for you to wake up. Now let me see those beautiful eyes," he murmured softly, his beautiful voice like music to my ears.

I shook my head. In a last ditch attempt to seduce me, Edward rolled us over causing me to straddle him. My eyes flew open. I could feel the full length of Edward beneath me. I lifted my head from his shoulder to see a smile spread across his face. My hair fell like a curtain around our faces

"Good morning, love." He kissed my nose, and then slowly craned his neck up to kiss my lips.

His lips moved against mine. It was a soft, innocent kiss but I couldn't help pushing it further by running my tongue against his lips. Edward opened his mouth, pushing his hand in my hair. I moaned my satisfaction, when one of his hands grabbed my butt. I moved against him, seeking more friction. Edward made a sound of wanton desire deep in his chest. Suddenly, he stopped. We both ground our discontent and I froze as well.

"What?" I said, breathlessly. I couldn't have done something wrong.

He sighed and placed his head on my shoulder breathing heavily. "Alice, go away," he begged.

He started to move away from me. "Yes, I know w—"

In a burst of uncharacteristic boldness, I grabbed his member. My face flushed.

"I know what today is." His usually unruffled voice was now saturated and rough.

I slowly moved my fingers up the length of him. He trembled above me. I smirked.

"I can stay in bed with my wife all day if I choose," he snapped, frustrated with more than just Alice. My hands were swiftly pinned to the pillow above my head. Edward's eyes were anything but calm. They were wild.

"Just give me a minute."

"Or a couple hours," I said, matching his intense gaze. A low growl rumbled deep in his chest.

"Go away, Alice, and play with Jasper," I yelled at the door.

"If I didn't know any better…," he mused.

"What?" I asked coyly.

"I'd say I've created a monster," he chuckled, looking up through his eyelashes.

"I'd say that happened ages ago. Edward, let go of my arms."

He shook his head. "I can't do that. You might try to monopolize the situation."

I glared at him finding no outlet for a weakness. He just seemed pleasantly amused. He took his time teasing me, working me into frenzy. I tried futilely to break free from Edward's restraints.

"Dammit, Edward!" I said as he sucked on my breast. The feeling was deliciously good. I thought I was going to explode. He kept lapping at my nipple with great vigor while my insides grew hotter. I clamped my thighs together seeking some type of friction. My back arched as my release finally came.

"How about a nice hot shower, love?" he asked, finally releasing my wrists.

Edward pulled me up by my hips, wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me to the bathroom. He sat me on the edge of the counter; his eyes were still lit with intense desire as he removed my shirt before flitting to the shower to get the water running. He took off my pants next, tracing the curves of my thighs.

Edward looked at me, his eyes bright despite the darkening circles underneath them.

The child had Edward's eyes!

I felt a pang in my chest.

I reminded myself now wasn't the time. I leaned forward for a kiss, but Edward had already seen my expression.

"It's nothing," I said defensively before he could even ask.

He groaned. "Bella, we will talk about this later." The inflection in his voice made it clear to me that this wasn't a question. It was a demand. In vain I hoped that he would forget.

He began kissing me again, his lips moving unnaturally against mine. Simultaneously, I felt he was detached. I stopped him when I realized he was dwelling on it.

"I don't want to talk about it. It was a random thought," I explained, holding his face in my hands.

"You're doing wonders for my ego right now, Bella," he said exasperated.

I laughed. "You're the one who's worrying over nothing. Your face just reminded me of something. We'll leave it at that."

I covered his mouth with my lips before he could form any words. My mouth parted when his tongue traced along my bottom lip. Despite our minor disagreement, we proceeded to undress each other. Edward lifted me off the counter and into the shower with ease. Even though we made love, it was without our usual ardor. I knew he wasn't focused on me because he was somewhere else worrying.

Awkwardly, we dressed. Edward wouldn't look directly at me. His eyes shifted downward. The completeness that usually filled me after we'd been together was suddenly missing. I felt unbearably empty.

Edward and I walked downstairs without touching. I saw that Emmett and Jasper were beginning to load our things on to the truck; it would easily take them a couple of minutes.

"Jazz, we need to be on the private jet with these boxes by this evening. If you're going to go hunt go now. We have no time to waste. Emmett, be careful with that!" Alice yelled anxiously out the open door.

Esme and Carlisle were sitting in the breakfast room and talking quietly. Carlisle's arm was casually draped around her shoulders and she instinctively leaned in to his embrace. They both looked up simultaneously as we entered the room. Esme smiled at me and patted the seat next to her.

"Good morning, Bella."

"Good morning, Carlisle. Esme." I nodded to both. "I hope you don't mind me cooking in here."

"Of course not, this is your home," Carlisle said.

I walked to the fridge and pulled almost everything out on the counter, unable to figure out what I wanted. After looking over the assortment, I finally narrowed the assortment of food down to three things: eggs, hot sauce, and pickles. I never ate pickles, but I wanted them now. Reluctantly, I put the pickles back in to the fridge, deciding I did not want to chance getting sick this morning. Taking my fail proof meal, eggs over easy and hot sauce, back to the table, I could feel Edward's eyes on me.

"So tell me, Bella, what do you plan on studying while you are at Northwestern?" Carlisle asked.

"I've always wanted to be a teacher, but I'm not sure about what I want to teach."

"It will come to you."

"Have you thought about being an English Major?" Esme asked.

"You love literature, Bella," Edward added tentatively.

"I will look into it at orientation week."

I was almost done with my breakfast, when I started feeling nauseous for the first time in weeks. I thought I was being careful by choosing eggs; I couldn't get enough of them since the honeymoon. To prevent getting sick, I gulped down the rest of my orange juice.

"I'm not feeding you enough," Edward said.

"I've gained almost ten pounds because of you," I said a little too harshly.

"You look beautiful no matter what size you are," Edward muttered.

I resisted to the urge to roll my eyes. However, I couldn't stop my body's reaction to blush. Avoiding his eyes, I sighed, pushed back my chair, and took my plate to the sink.

Alice poked her head into the kitchen. "Edward, Jazz wants to go hunting with you before we leave."

"I'll meet him out back."

"I'll go too," Carlisle said standing up. Esme stood beside him and held on to his hand. Carlisle looked at her, whispered something too low for me to hear and kissed her.

Edward walked over to me with his hands pushed into his pockets. I refused to look at him. He towered over me. Pushing my hair away from my face, he cupped my cheek. His lips were next to my ear as he whispered, "_Es tut mir leid, meine Liebe_."

Then he captured my lips and pulled my body against his, my body naturally melted against him. I knew he was trying to tell me he was sorry through the kiss.

Just as quickly as it started it ended. Edward's lips left mine with a 'pop'. My lips were tingling and my mind was scrambled. I watched him walk away with a dumb look on my face.

Alice and Esme giggled at my reaction. I couldn't figure out what just happened.

"Come on, Bella. We have a lot to talk about," Alice said seriously, drawing me from my daze.

I followed her upstairs to her room. She led me to her antique wrought iron bed decorated with black sheets and an assortment of pillows. She moved to the middle of the bed, crossing her legs underneath her.

"Let's talk," she said.

"About what?"

"Whatever is troubling you…and Edward."

"You noticed?"

"You wouldn't even touch this morning or let alone look at each other. The Edward is gone and Esme is outside making sure Emmett doesn't damage anything. So it's just me."

"I thought Emmett would be done by now."

"I ordered a few more things. Now back to what we were talking about. Spill, Bella," Alice ordered.

"I've been having dreams about this little boy and then this morning I had one about a baby. His eyes were just like Edward's before he changed."

"What do you think it means?"

"I don't know. I can't make heads or tails of how these dreams are making me feel. My emotions have been scattered all day."

"You're worrying him.

"I know." Now I was irritated and started to rant my frustration, "But he really shouldn't jump to conclusions so fast. He keeps doing that. Constantly I feel like I have to be careful of what I should say to him otherwise I risk him having an epic worry attack. I can't talk to him about this, Alice. "

"This isn't worth not talking him. Trust me, I can see it."

"What should I say to him?" I cut Alice off. "He'll only see the baby dreams as me wanting one and not wanting my life with him. Nothing could be farther from the truth. What if he wants to give me up for my own good or something crazy?" The tears seemed to bubble up from nowhere.

"Oh, I'm sorry here are some tissues," Alice offered. "He can't give you up now. He's had you for too long."

I nodded in agreement, though I still doubted it because he'd gone to those extremes before. "I'll be fine in a few minutes." I dabbed the tears away with the tissue. "What should I say?"

"There are some things that I can't tell Jasper. Tell him what you feel comfortable with. That's what I would do."

"Thank you, Alice."

She put her arms around me and embraced me. "That's what sisters are for."

Alice asked me if I wanted a mini makeover. I politely declined and suggested a movie instead. She and I watched TV downstairs. I nodded off somewhere between Leave it to Beaver and I Love Lucy.

"Bella. Bella, wake up," a familiar tenor voice said. "Wake up, love, you don't want to miss dinner with Charlie."

I opened my eyes and saw Edward crouched in front of me. "No, I don't." I sat up and got myself together.

Somehow the kiss Edward had given me before he left didn't change the emptiness I still felt. The entire drive we let the uncomfortable silence choke off any pleasant feelings.

"Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath and nodded, ignoring the nagging feelings pulling on my heart. I knocked on the door once, and Charlie was there and embracing me in a hug. I was startled by his blatant display of affection. Usually he steered clear of things like this. But today I couldn't care less.

"Dad," I sighed leaning into his embrace.

"Bells," he said clearing his throat, ushering us inside. "Edward."

We spent the remainder of the afternoon and well into the evening with Charlie. I didn't want to admit to myself the reason I found every excuse to stay past dinner. Ultimately, I decided to clean and cook. I found myself trying to justify leaving Charlie alone, but I couldn't. What I was doing was utterly selfish and…he needed me.

I listened to Charlie and Edward talking in the living room.

"How's the chili, Bells?" Charlie shouted while watching the football game.

"It should be done in about fifteen minutes."

"You know you didn't have to go cooking up a storm for me," he said walking into the kitchen and examining the various containers of food I packed for him. "All of this looks amazing!"

"It's no problem," I said blinking away my tears while stirring the chili. Not again. I couldn't understand where this was coming from. I prepared myself for this, I told myself.

"You're a horrible actress, Bells."

"Sorry," I said, brushing my tears away.

"It's only college and you'll visit on holidays, won't you?"

"Yeah." I sniffled, suddenly feeling silly, for the second time today, for being emotional.

"Bells, you have a big day tomorrow. Don't worry about me so much." Charlie shifted awkwardly and started blushing. "I love you."

"Me too, dad."

I was packing up the chili when Edward came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. We shared a look for a brief moment before Charlie walked us to our car.

"Good luck, kid." Charlie kissed my forehead and closed my door.

On our way home I felt drained. Edward arched his eyebrow at me, seeing the worry that I failed to hide. Edward reached over and placed his hand on mine to comfort me.

Edward parked in front of the house.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'll be fine. I promise." The last thing I needed was Edward worried about me second guessing my decision to attend school out of state because I didn't want to leave Charlie.

I wasn't even two steps into the house before Emmett swung me up in his arms and started spinning me around. "I'm going to make your last night here epic!"

"Em, put me down. I'm going to be sick."

"Sorry, I won't go so fast next time." He stopped abruptly. "I have a bunch of scary movies, popcorn, some of that gross peanut butter candy you like so much, and—" Emmett picked up on my mood and stopped midsentence. "Why the long face?"

"It's been a long day."

Emmett frowned and released me from his arms.

"We can do this some other time, okay? Go home and get some rest," he said seriously. I felt bad for not spending time with him on my last night.

Edward lifted me into his arms and took off running out the side door.

I held on to Edward and didn't let go until we were in the cottage both tucked into bed. I evened my breathing and focused on suppressing my emotions.

"Bella, what were you thinking of earlier this morning?"

Here was my moment to take Alice's advice.

"I remembered a dream I had. I was running away from something. See, no big deal, just a typical nightmare," I said.

I felt like I was lying to him on the one hand, and on the other I wasn't about to change that because I knew what he would think. And I didn't want to lose him. I wanted to keep my fairytale just the way it was: happy or seemingly so.

He frowned. "I reminded you of a…nightmare," Edward's voice was filled with sadness. I almost told him about the baby in my dreams when I heard it. I should have chosen my words more carefully.

I covered his mouth with my hand. "That's not what I meant. The memory came back to me at the wrong time. It had nothing to do with you. Please, don't worry. You worry so much." I pushed his hair back from the top of his head.

"I apologized earlier for this, and I'm going to do it again. I practically ignored you while we were having sex. I was worrying about what you were keeping away from me. It wasn't because I didn't want you. I'll always want you." Edward deepened his voice.

"I know, but don't you ever do that again. I felt so empty," I said.

"Did I hurt your feelings that much?" he asked.

I nodded.

"I'm such a fool," Edward whispered.

He leaned his forehead against mine and closed the distance between our lips. His lips moved with the right amount to tenderness, and he rolled us over so that I was on top of him. His hands gently caressed my hair and back.

"I don't deserve you." He looked at me with such intensity I felt like he could see through me.

With that one look, the emotions I tried desperately to fight off while at Charlie's rushed back, and the guilt intensified. I didn't deserve him.

"What is it?" The look in his eyes was very tender, once again dragging up the guilt. "Talk to me please."

"I want to be strong for you," I started to say.

"Bella, you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Sometimes that can be a good thing. Right now it's hurting both of us. Let me take the load off."

"All right, I'm scared," I finally admitted to him and myself.

"You know the nightmare isn't—"

"It's not the nightmare, Edward. I feel unprepared for all of this. I don't know how to be married, move away from home, and leave Charlie. Everything is happening so fast, and I don't know what's going to come next." My body shook with sobs. However, these tears were cathartic. "What if I'm not a good wife?"

"That's absurd."

I was about to object when Edward placed his finger to my lips. "It's seems to me that you need a bit of reassurance. Listen to me. We'll take our marriage day by day. There's no rush."

I nodded my head.

"I'm going to miss my family, too," Edward admitted after my breathing slowed down. "I will never get used to leaving them," he spoke honestly.

And just like that, a wave of peace washed over me as Edward held me. Things finally felt like they'd be all right. I went to bed that night with thoughts of hope for our new life in Chicago.

The next morning I woke with my heart pounding in my chest. I expected to find myself curled up against a tree guarding my precious baby. As much as I wanted to deny it, I knew he had to be mine; I felt it deep within me. I was stroking his petal soft cheek, when I was compelled to look up. A group of cloaked figures materialized at the edge of the clearing. Dread settled over me like a vise. It was too late to run and I couldn't force myself to move. They glided easily across the meadow. The baby sensed my distress and began to cry. They'd be here soon. I was determined to protect him till the end. I held him close to me, humming, trying to calm him. The figures drew closer.

"Shh," I whispered. "They won't hurt you."

Then they surrounded me.

Splitting thunder shook me from my reverie. My head snapped toward the window. The sky was black and rain fell against the window in sheets.

"Edward," I called.

He appeared next to me on the bed, pulling me into his arms and said, "I expected you would fall back asleep. It's still a bit early."

"I can't."

"Another nightmare?"

I nodded.

"Tell me about it," he said softly his voice conforming to the silence.

"Haven't I been sleep-talking?"

"You've been silent since we've come from our honeymoon."

"How strange," I said. I figured I would have been sleep-talking since they were so vivid.

"Bella, the dream," Edward insisted.

"I couldn't move and these dark figures were closing in on me."

"Who?" His body tensed.

"Maybe it's the Volturi, since they were wearing dark cloaks."

"They're never going to hurt you as long as I'm around. I swear."

"I know."

After an hour of tossing and turning, no amount of humming or back rubbing could lull me to sleep. I rolled out of bed following Edward to the kitchen.

"Are you hungry? Or is it too early?"

"Yes, my body craves the food you make now. It's insanely delicious for someone who doesn't eat at all."

He laughed. "What shall it be this morning? Fried eggs and hot sauce?"

"You noticed that?" I blushed.

"I notice everything about you."

My stomach growled loudly. "I'll take the fried eggs and hot sauce."

"I'd be happy to oblige." He leaned over the counter and placed a kiss on my lips.

After breakfast I took a quick shower then got dressed. By the time we had to leave, the weather hadn't changed. I grabbed a bottled of water before I left the house just in case I got sick again. Emmett drove us to the airport. Emmett gave me one last hug and kiss when we got to the security check point. I would miss my older brother.

He stopped Edward and said, "Take care of her."

Edward nodded and embraced Emmett in a hug.

Thankfully security didn't take long. Edward swiftly led us to our gate, and we boarded the plane not long after. Edward and I sat alone in first class.

"You ready?" I asked, excited.

"With you, anytime."

* * *

**What do you think of Edward and Bella's relationship so far? Do you think their problems ****will ****continue to be a simple fix in this marriage? Please review, review, review! **

**~Tiff**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not won Twilight or any or Meyer's work. **

* * *

**5. Chicago**

***Edward***

Five hours alone with my thoughts was never a good thing. After the conversation Bella and I had when we left Charlie's, it was a terrible thing. Bella's insecurity about being married worried me. She seemed so afraid of us failing like Charlie and Renee. Her anxiety caused her to bottle up all of her emotions. She hid her thoughts from me and feared telling me her insecurities. I never wanted those things. Without communication our marriage would fall in the balance of uncertainty.

Maybe I am the failure.

I really needed to stop worrying. It would probably all be for nothing.

As I drove us to our new home, my childhood home, I waited anxiously for Bella to wake up and distract me from my needless thoughts. Countless memories were locked within the wood paneled walls that I would never be able to retrieve. My few faded memories were overwhelmingly of my mother's love. Memories of my father were almost nonexistent because he was almost never home and hardly spent any time with me or my mother. I tried not to dwell on the thought for too long. That resentment was permanently ingrained into my being. If I were able to become a father that would be the first thing I change.

Bella's faint sigh as she slept immediately caught my attention. I looked at her deliciously flushed cheeks, and it took everything within me not to lean over and kiss the beautiful pout on her lips. When I heard the infinitesimal change in her heart rate, I took her hand and brought it my lips. Awake now, she yawned opening her eyes. Her brown eyes sparkled.

"I slept the whole way again?"

I ran my lips across her soft knuckles and said, "Quite peacefully this time and I'm glad you did. Now you have time to stay awake with me."

"Traveling has never made me so tired before except for..." she trailed off.

I knew where her mind went. Except for when we came back from Italy and back from the honeymoon. We needed to change the subject quickly.

Her stomach growled.

"I swear I stuffed myself before I left the cottage," Bella said in astonishment.

"Once we get to the house I'll cook you some more eggs."

"Are we close?"

"Yes," I said. "Alice and Jasper will be there waiting. I know you wouldn't want to miss your chance to say goodbye."

"Where are we?" She asked, looking out the window.

My, she was inquisitive today. "We're in Old Town. It's not as green as Forks, but it has a certain charm. The homes here have been remodeled from older structures."

We were one block from my childhood home. "Bella, close your eyes."

"Does everything have to be a surprise with you?" she asked and placed her hands over her eyes. "Forget I asked."

"No peeking," I warned. "I'm not above driving in circles."

"Okay. Hurry up already," she whined.

I pressed my foot down on gas pedal and reached the driveway within seconds. I laughed and leaned over to kiss her cheek. She gave a little yelp when I scooped her up in my arms. I set her feet on the ground, placing my hands over her eyes. The structure in front of me was more than an antique house; it was our future. A future I hoped would be brighter than my past.

***Bella***

Edward stood behind me, uncovering my eyes. Nestled between two large trees was a large brick house with a gable roof and a porch wrapping around the front. The house was decorated with white windows, and iron detailing. Nothing filled a large flower box beneath the third story window. A timeless wrought iron gate enclosed the stone steps leading up to the hand carved white arch and cherry oak door. Overall, it had a very classic and beautiful design aesthetic.

I continued to stare.

"What do you think?" Edward asked his voice soft but I heard the anxiety.

I opened my mouth to say something, everything I thought about this house; there were no words.

"We can make some renovations if it's too simplistic. Maybe add a pool in the yard," he murmured, his anxiety continuing to build. "It won't take long—"

I turned around and put my lips against his. "It's perfect."

"Really?"

"Nothing could be better."

Edward held his hand out to the door, I turned the knob not knowing what to expect. The house was serene and quiet. It was hard not to be disappointed. I'd been expecting an Alice Cullen welcome.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Jasper went hunting. Alice is upstairs doing God knows what to our bedroom."

"I heard that. You just wait…," she warned.

The antique drawing room I walked into was something from another time. It was stunning in cream and mahogany. One wall was covered in books and priceless turn of the century novels. It took everything within me not to rush over and examine the antique bindings. As I walked in further, I found the door to a modest sized kitchen, nothing compared to my kitchen in Forks. The kitchen was decorated in cream and darkly stained wood; it matched the dining room it opened up to.

The living room took my breath away; its brown and amber toned walls radiated warmth. Faded and worn pictures of a younger Edward sat above the mosaic fireplace along with clearer pictures of me. Somehow I still paled in comparison to the beautiful boy I was looking at.

"She kept them," Edward said to himself.

"How could anyone destroy these? They're beautiful."

"Esme said she would burn all of the pictures from our past to keep anyone from finding out our secret. And here they are."

"Are there more?"

"Yes, on the coffee table next to your wedding album," Alice sang.

I finally sat down on the soft leather couch and pulled the surprisingly light album into my lap. My fingers ran over the plastic pages protecting the pictures of Edward's past. His father looked stark and serious, while his mother was the opposite. Her lovely features and round doe eyes brought her to life in the picture. Then, on the next page, I couldn't believe what I saw. The infant from my dreams was on the page before me. Edward.

I closed the book and set it back on the table. I didn't want to face what the picture was making me feel. The feelings were too complicated to handle.

Edward kneeled in front of me, his eyebrows pulling together. He called my name. "Don't be afraid to talk to me."

"I'm okay. I was..."

"You looked like you'd seen a ghost," he said worriedly.

I told him a lie, "I was thinking about how much of my memories I'll retain after."

"After a while, not much," he said honestly. "You know that."

"It still doesn't change the fact that I don't want to forget Charlie or Renee, like you forgot your parents."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and said softly, "I'll help you remember."

I fiddled with the top button of his shirt. Taking my hand, he looked deep into my eyes, "Are you sure you want to stay here?"

I didn't see how I could say no, this home was truly beautiful. It was finally time for us to be on our own. "Yes, this experience is for you too."

"Thank you." He hugged me.

Gliding down the staircase, Alice sang, "I'm so glad you guys are here. I need you to look at your room, my masterpiece, before I leave."

I made my way up the stairs with trepidation. We passed a guest room and a study. Edward opened the bedroom door.

The room was beautiful and simply designed. I forgot why I didn't trust Alice. After all she was my best friend, and she knew what I liked. The room was washed with golden light from the fire place lit across from a large bed. It reminded me of the gossamer draped bed on isle Esme. It couldn't be.

"Is that the bed from the island?"

"Esme thought you'd like something similar to it as a house warming present," Alice chirped excitedly. The floor was carpeted. The curtains were cream to match the bedding. Adjacent to the fireplace were a pair of double doors leading into the master bathroom and master closet.

I groaned when I realized where Alice was headed next. Edward followed, trying to hide an amused expression.

"You don't have to look at it now. Jasper will be here in twenty minutes and I know you're hungry," she said. "There are egg salad sandwiches in the fridge."

Alice and I sat in the kitchen together. Edward had wandered away from us, saying he wanted to look at the rest of the house. That was strange. He probably knew every inch of his house by heart. I didn't comment on it, though. Alice watched me eat with a look of intense concentration and it was beginning to get creepy.

"How do you eat that stuff?" Alice finally asked. "It smells absolutely vile."

"Ummm…" I started blushing. "The sandwich tastes great."

"That's the only sandwich that wouldn't make you sick."

"She was going to get sick?" Edward asked. I nearly jumped out of my seat because I hadn't heard him walk into the room.

He frowned at Alice. "I need to know these things, Alice," he growled.

She glowered back at him. "You don't control me, Edward. I'm not a crystal ball you can use at your convenience," she snapped.

He looked as if she'd slapped him. "I think I hear Jasper outside, I'd rather talk with him." Edward strode toward the door.

"Edward," I called but he didn't turn back. This fight between them needed to be put to an end. Once she was gone he would miss her.

"What's with you and Edward?" I asked.

"He's upset because he can't get his way." She picked up the container of mini sandwiches and took them to the fridge. "Besides, I was helping you. He would have gone into full blown over protective mode, if I told him you would react badly to the eggs."

"Okay," I consented. "Please, don't leave without fixing whatever is going on."

"I won't. Can I show you your closet now?"

"Fine."

It was as I expected it to be, large and unnecessarily extravagant.

"The devil is in the details. If you look closely, I bought you a whole new wardrobe and here you have a shoe rack. Thank me later."

She walked out of the closet and over to the bed. Her shoulders hunched over and her head bent to her hands. "I've never wanted to sleep more than I do now."

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"It's nothing you can fix. This will only heal with time. I have to accept it," she said vaguely.

I climbed onto my bed and sat next to Alice. I wished there was something I could do to help her. Maybe she and Jasper were at a rough spot in their marriage. However, I had no advice to offer her. Marriage was still too new to me. Alice curled up on her side and laid her head on my lap.

"You know college is going to be so much fun for you," she said. "I wish I could stay. I'd plan sleepovers with you and force you to stay up late watching scary movies and talk about sex."

"Alice!" I laughed.

"I hope she's not causin' too much trouble up here," I heard Jasper say in his southern drawl as he and Edward walked in.

"How was your hunt, Jazz?" Alice asked Jasper.

"I enjoyed it," he said. "Excuse me, but I think it's time we leave."

"So soon?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Bella. Your smell has intensified and it's…uncomfortable," Jasper said.

"Oh, sorry, I understand."

"Don't be he's smelling your hormones. This is why I told him to hunt before you got here." She sighed. "But he's right we have to go. Staying any longer would be testing his limits. You understand right, Edward?"

Edward nodded. He was probably experiencing the same amount of torment Jasper was, since he could read his every thought.

I stood to give Alice a hug. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Bella. Be happy," Alice said.

I was more worried about her being happy. She seemed so sad. I wanted to know what was going on with her.

"I will. Remember what you promised me."

"I can't keep it, today. Maybe another time."

I opened my mouth to stop her, but she flitted out the door.

Only the sound of the door closing let me know she was truly gone.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I have to get her," Jasper said. "See you both on Thanksgiving."

Edward nodded.

Then, Jasper was gone, too.

I sat on our bed and looked around the room, reflecting on my thoughts; Edward and I were truly alone, I was in college, and we were married. I was still getting used to thinking the word.

Thankfully, orientation didn't start until next Thursday which gave us a little over a week to ourselves before we dived into college life. I noticed Edward watching me from afar.

"Alice wasn't herself today. What's going on?" I asked.

Edward finally moved to my side and said, "I don't know. She's closed herself off from me."

"What do you mean?"

"Her visions and her thoughts. It's like she doesn't trust me," he said sadly. "She's always trusted me with her deepest fears and regrets. She's even hid secrets from Jasper with me. I don't know what I've done to deserve this."

I didn't know what to say to him so I held his arm.

"I also didn't expect it to hurt as much as it does now."

I looked up and saw the sadness in his eyes. I rubbed my thumbs under his eyes. "This might not help you but I know you and Alice will fix this. Then, everything will go back to normal and be good again."

"Until then I have you. You are my world." He kissed me and then groaned. It sounded like he was in pain. "Jasper was right. Your hormones really are out of control. I can't believe I didn't notice before. My head is spinning right now."

"Should I move?"

"Absolutely not!" he said, pinning me between his arms and the bed.

Edward began kissing my neck and shoulders, and then inhaled deeply. "Ahhh, so good. Sweet and potent."

"Edward you sound…" I was struggling to find the appropriate word for what he sounded like. Then, it came to me. "Like you're high."

"You couldn't be more correct," he agreed with me laughing.

Our laughter dissolved as our lips met. Briefly, we pulled apart so I could pull his shirt over his head. When he looked down, he wore the most desirable expression on his face. His eyes darkened. He kissed my neck while I kicked my pants and underwear off. He ran his hands up from my calf to my thigh, hitching it over his waist. I couldn't resist moaning, when I felt his denim clad erection against my center.

Edward lifted me up and walked, holding me flush against his body until I was sandwiched between the wall and his body. He quickly unfastened his pants and in one fluid motion entered me. I whimpered at feeling of him buried deep inside of me. My back strained as I arched against the wall, causing my breasts to push against Edward's chest. He started with slow strokes, rolling his hips against me; all the while his lips were connected to my neck. He sucked and licked my carotid artery which really turned me on.

My hands clutched his back as he slipped deeper inside of me. He growled against my neck. I fisted the hair at the nape of his neck and decided to give him a love bite of my own. Edward's lips pulled away from my neck and I heard his jaw audibly snap shut.

My heart thudded in my chest when I heard the resulting growl. Edward stopped, his breathing labored. He moved me on to the bed and began to pound into me with sheer abandon. His lapse in control was like a drug. I wanted more and more. Each thrust was mind-blowing as it sent waves of pleasure and pain through my body.

"Oh!" I cried.

Edward hissed, gripping my hips as he slammed back into me. I thought I was going to break in half. I started to feel my release build. Edward must have felt it too, because he moved over me to grip my chin and kissed me desperately.

My hips lifted up to meet his every thrust until I fell apart. I felt him pulsing inside of me when he roared out my name in release.

Edward placed open mouthed kisses on my shoulder, sliding out of me. I gently caressed the hair at the nape of his neck and breathed in. His scent was mixed with my sweat.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry, Bella. Are you hurt?" he asked.

"I feel great." I giggled. Only Edward would be concerned after having incredible sex.

"Bella."

"You've finally let go, Edward, and I'm in one piece," I said, looking up at him with a smile plastered on my face. "Please, don't ruin this moment."

He returned my smile and started to lovingly massage my back.

"So, uhh, do you usually notice the change in my hormones?"

"Not usually, your blood is far stronger but today you're like walking incense. It took Jasper who hasn't seen you for one day to show me the difference. And I kind of lost it."

"Oh." I stretched a little and winced.

"Let me finish your massage," Edward insisted.

Edward's fingers worked on my muscles. Eventually, I fell asleep. It was dark when I woke up again, and there was a note on the pillow beside me written in Edward's perfect cursive.

_Don't miss me too much while I survey the hunting grounds. _

_But we by a love so much refined that ourselves know not what it is, inter-assured of the mind, care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss. Our two souls therefore, which are one, though I must go, endure not yet a breach, but an expansion, like gold to aery thinness beat,_

_Love Edward. _

John Donne, Edward knew he was my favorite poet, and this section was marked on the last page I stopped on. I went into the bathroom for a quick shower. Once stripped of all of my clothing, I got into the shower and turned the tap. The warm water felt divine on my stiff muscles. I thought about the sex Edward and I had and couldn't keep the smile off my face. I would have to say that was the first time Edward and I legitimately fucked. He'd never been uninhibited with me before. Tonight, I would test my luck for a repeat performance of this morning.

I reached for the shampoo, when I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. Dammit not my period. Leave it to good ole Mother Nature to ruin my plans. A bar of chocolate and ibuprofen were the only things Edward would give me tonight.

I rinsed my hair in frustration and turned off the water. Another cramp came. This time the pain intensified sharply. I held back a cry and pressed my hand against the wall; the smell of blood hit my nose causing me to dry heave.

I lowered myself to the floor unable to stand. When I finally looked down there was a large amount blood pooling around me and going down the drain. I didn't know what was happening but this wasn't my period. Something was wrong. I held my midsection wishing the cramps—or whatever they were—would stop. The cramps strengthened to a burning sensation. My head was spinning and tears streamed down my cheeks.

_Edward can't find me like this_, I thought pulling myself up from the shower floor with shaky limbs. I did my best to wash off the blood and dried myself.

I weakly dressed myself in one of Edward's t-shirts that I found in the closet. I scrubbed the shower with the cleaner under the bathroom sink and broke in to a cold sweat. I slid back into bed scared and unsure of what was happening to me. The hideous cycle of cramping and bleeding continued.

***Edward***

I had entered the house expecting Bella to be more or less awake. After the round of sex we'd had this morning, I didn't think she'd have the energy to stay awake. She'd slept through the afternoon without a sound. Lucky for me no bruises formed. I took that as a good sign.

As I inhaled I felt the familiar burn in my throat which was accompanied by Bella's presence. In a few minutes the burn would practically be unnoticeable. But as I walked upstairs that didn't happen. My throat began burning intensely. There was fresh blood in the house. I started to panic. Bella was hurt?

I ran upstairs I stopped in my tracks and I remembered the date.

This was bound to come up. Before we were married, I strategically planned hunting trips or subtly suggested she hangout with some of her friends in Forks when this time came. I didn't want any accidents. Tonight would be difficult.

A faint gasp and whimper drew me out of my thoughts. I entered our bedroom but stopped two steps in. Bella's small form was curled on the bed in a ball with her eyes were fastened shut. A bead of sweat was sliding down her eyebrow. The comforter was thrown off of her and gathered at the foot of the bed. Her hair was plastered to the sides of her face with sweat.

Unable to stand at the door watching her in pain, I moved to the side of the bed where she lay and caressed her cheek. Her eyes flew open and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her eyes.

"You scared me," she whispered.

"It's about time. Are you…?"

"They're cramps, Edward. I'll be fine. Can you handle the blood stench?" She wrinkled her nose.

I realized I had not taken a breath since I had entered our house. Tentatively, I took a deep breath preparing for the intense burn. I nodded when I was sure, and then got into bed with her.

I cradled her in my arms. She fell asleep within minutes, but her body was restless. Throughout the night, I listened to her groan and cry in her sleep and I felt completely helpless. I could not imagine what these nights were like without me there to comfort her. I thought the amount of blood she was losing would lessen, but it seemed to be endless as the night progressed. I vigilantly monitored her heart to make sure she wasn't experiencing palpitations due to the amount of blood she was losing.

I thought I would lose my mind before the morning but I endured for her.

The sun was beginning to break over the horizon, when Bella started to stir from her sleep. She'd had a few hours of calm sleep.

"Bella, love," I whispered. "How are you feeling?"

Still barely awake, she merely murmured something I couldn't make out. I kissed her forehead and went downstairs to start breakfast. By the time I finished with breakfast, she was in the shower and the room was pleasantly perfumed with her scent. I reminded myself, there would be no sex for the next week, not that we'd been having much of it. I was arranging her breakfast on the bed when she came out.

"Are those…" She sniffed the air, "Mmm, strawberry pancakes?" she asked while drying her hair clad in only a towel. A combination of her scent, blood, and shampoo assaulted me. I swallowed the venom in my mouth and walked over to kiss her cheek. I could smell that the amount of iron in her blood dropped since I'd last been in the room. She needed to see a doctor. I knew it was common for women to experience low iron during their periods but I needed extra security.

I'll make sure her lunch is full of spinach, I thought.

I nodded. "You look and sound better," I said happily.

"Marginally. The cramps are still pretty strong. I hope I didn't scare you."

"I hate to see you in pain."

"I know. This is probably a onetime thing." She didn't sound confident and she was biting her lips.

I took her face between my hands, gently pulled her teeth from the snare of her lips and looked into her eyes, searching for anything that might tell me what she truly was thinking. She started to frown and placed a hand on my chest. I knew she was trying to push me away.

"I know what you're doing. Try not to over analyze this." She sighed and turned away from me to go to our closet.

She came out of the closet in tight boy shorts and a dark blue camisole that hugged her beautiful curves. Her breasts were barely concealed by the thin cotton and lace provided by the top. I pulled her warm soft body against me.

"I love you so much," I reminded her.

"How could I forget? I love you too." She pressed her cheek against my bare chest.

Her warmth reminded me of how much I wanted her. I frowned.

"What is the matter?"

I groaned, "This." I grabbed the material in one hand and cupped her round bottom in the other, pushing my erection in to her hip.

"Oh," she said, her voice immediately grew huskier. The faint smell of her arousal hit the air. She looked up at me. Her brown eyes drew me into a trance. "I'm not sorry."

That wicked little...

She pried herself out of my grasp. I watched her hips sway wickedly as she walked back to the bed. I had to get a grip. The next seven days would be hard enough with her body perfuming the air like a hot dessert. She was pure seduction walking away from me. I would not be able to stand the next hour.

"Bella, we need to talk about this," I stated, coming out of my stupor.

"About what?" she asked, digging into her breakfast wearing only her underwear.

"It'd be better if I could talk to you without..." She crossed her legs on the bed exposing more of her thigh.

"This is about sex, isn't it?" She cut the point.

"Yes. No. Your safety is what I'm concerned about most."

Bella shifted slightly, causing her scent to assault me once more. Her sheer camisole shifted too, offering an even more tantalizing view of her breasts. I swallowed again.

"I can't be near you without wanting to make love to you. I have the mentality of a teenage boy."

A smirk spread across her lips. "Hmm, you think about sex with me all the time?"

"Yes." I went on, "I hope you're not uncomfortable."

"You're my husband and I'm your wife, you don't have to worry about that," she giggled. "I'm glad you still want me even though I'm utterly disgusting right now."

I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger and lifted her face up towards me. Unable to resist any longer, I stole a kiss from her succulent lips. "Absurd. You smell like the equivalent of a hot crème brûlée." Her mouth tasted like something else entirely. Maybe a decadent chocolate truffle would be an appropriate analogy. "I'm hanging on by a shred of decency not to devour you."

"Good to know, but I'm not going to seduce you."

"Oh," I said absently as I watched her lick the syrup from her tiny fingertips. She was vaguely aware of my struggle. Her full lips wrapped around them then she pulled out. I knew a better place she could put those lips…

Bella looked up and saw my face. "I didn't do that on purpose, I swear," she said blushing.

Amazed that she was still so innocent, I smiled. For years I'd listened in on the thoughts of men and their constant groaning about how manipulative their wives were, and here was my Bella who didn't have a manipulative bone in her body.

She leaned back against the pillows, picked up a folded piece of paper from the night stand, and she smiled.

"The poem?" I asked, realizing what it was.

"You've been snooping through my books." She poked her finger into my chest playfully while standing up on her knees and moving to straddle my waist.

"Guilty." My hands moved to her waist. I whispered in her ear the rest of the poem, "If they be two, they are two so as stiff twin compasses are two. Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show to move, but doth, if th' other do. Such wilt thou be to me, who must like th' other foot, obliquely run. Thy firmness makes my circle just, and makes me end where I begun."

Her eyes softened. "Why am I not surprised you memorized it?" she asked, leaning in closer. I could taste her sweet breath.

She pulled away frowning and clutched her stomach. "Ow."

"What's wrong?"

"A particularly strong cramp. I guess the ibuprofen wore off."

"Lay down." I felt like a cad. I had been so distracted by Bella that asking her to see a doctor had slipped my mind. There had to be something I could do for her pain. "You need to see a doctor. Have you thought about birth control?" I asked.

"Why would we need that?" she squeaked and blushed.

I ran my fingers through my hair. "Uhh, I was thinking it could help you with the pain."

"Oh, umm, I'll set up an appointment to see a gynecologist." She blushed again.

I sighed. "No need. I'll call Carlisle and see who he recommends." I stood up to go get my phone.

"Edward."

"I'm not upset. I spent all night listening to you cry," I explained cupping her cheek. "I want to take care of you."

"Okay, call Carlisle."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the delay.I was doing college applications. I'm done now. :D Please Review. I'll update when I have 12 reviews.**

**XoXo, Tiff**


	7. Chapter 6

******Disclaimer: I do not won Twilight or any or Meyer's work.**

**Thanks to my beta Mel!**

* * *

**6. A Perfect Evening**

***Bella***

I pulled my jacket closer to my body as cool autumn air whipped across my face._ When was Edward going to get here?_ We had plans today. He wouldn't tell me what they were, but I was instructed to meet him here in Shakespeare's Garden; it was half way between the Bienen School of Music and the English building. It had been over forty minutes since his last text message, which informed me that he was running late.

To keep myself occupied, I worked on my first assignment for my creative writing class. I had to describe one life changing even in my life, and I knew exactly what to write about. I chewed on my pen, willing the correct words to come to mind.

I growled at the blank page in my new journal.

"This is not how I pictured you when I bought you that journal," a very familiar voice stated.

"Well I'm frustrated," I grumbled. When I looked up from the blank page I only saw concern etched into Edward's face. "What took you so long?" I asked him, unable to hide the irritation in my voice.

"I told you that I was working on a group assignment for music theory. I'm sorry I kept you waiting," he apologized.

"It's okay. Can we go home?" I asked.

Walking to some unknown location in the cold seemed unappealing, not to mention that my patience was short today, though I wasn't sure why.

"I had plans for us today," he said, hoping that I would bite and ask him what we were doing today.

"I really don't want to go out today."

"You're mad at me," he stated, placing his hands on my hips.

"No," I lied horribly as my blush clearly stained my cheeks.

He turned to look at me directly. "Bella," he said.

I suddenly realized why I was so moody today: the birth control pill I took this morning. It set off a mood swing.

"The birth control must be getting to me," I said. "I'm such a bitch."

"You are nothing of the sort. Dr. Green said this could happen," he replied.

"Is there food where we're going?" I asked.

"If there wasn't any food involved, what leverage would I have over you right now?"

"None," I retorted.

Edward chuckled.

Edward took my things from me and placed his arm around my waist. He held me close to him and kissed my temple.

Since our first week in Chicago, Edward had changed. Maybe breaking out of the routine he'd been living for so long had changed him. He seemed content and freer. Even my foul mood couldn't bring him down. I wasn't complaining because I loved seeing him this way.

To get to where we were going, we had to take the subway. I didn't like taking the subway but everyday Edward insisted. I didn't understand his obsession with the crowded car, but I had never thought to ask. I was just happy to please him.

It wasn't that bad; each day, I found there was someone new to observe. Today, there was a woman trying to calm her baby girl, only a few months old. Within minutes, she'd rocked her baby to sleep.

_How did she make it look so easy?_ I wondered. The woman looked on the infant with doting eyes that made my heart ache.

I looked up at Edward and a small smile touched his lips. _Had he been watching the woman as well?_ I couldn't tell. His face was impossible to read.

On our honeymoon we were taking a hike through the forest on the island. The broken cry of a baby bird caught my attention over all the other sounds for some reason. Edward stopped to find it, when he saw the look on my face. Whatever he saw told him we couldn't leave it there to die. Unable to find the baby bird's nests, he wrapped him up in his shirt and carried him home.

Usually animals shied away from Edward, but the baby bird took to him. I watched him care for the bird with diligence. He was so careful not to hold him too hard to squeeze too much food in to the bird's mouth from the dropper. I was too shy to even touch the bird and afraid that I might drop it so I watched Edward. That week changed my view of Edward, I think, and I wondered more and more what it would be like to have a family with him.

If Edward and I could have children, Edward would adapt effortlessly like he did with that baby bird. A week ago, I was dreaming about a baby that looked like Edward, and now, they had stopped. There was a dull ache in my heart that said I needed something more.

_He should be enough, but I what if he wasn't? _I pushed the frightening thought away and wrapped my arms around Edward. I could have fallen asleep against his chest as the subway bumped along but I managed to stay awake.

Too soon, Edward and I exited the train, blending into the crowd of commuters.

As we walked along, and I took in the modern vintage fusion captured by the architecture around me. I was so enraptured by my surroundings that I didn't see the uneven pavement. The toe of my boot caught in a crack, and I was sure I was going to hit the ground.

Edward laughed as he caught me. "I was wondering when you'd slip. Do you think you can handle walking up the stairs?" he teased, still laughing.

I looked up as we stopped, seeing a rustic coffee shop. From what I could see through the large glass window, it was very cozy. The café had a tiny stage for poetry performances and a bulletin board filled with fliers for upcoming events for the coffee house and events in the city on the side of it. Students lounged on couches and studied at tables.

"I can do it," I whined like a little kid.

"I don't think so. Here, I'll hold your hand," he told me, taking my hand and pulling me in for a deep kiss. A rush of warmth fled down to my toes from the kiss. His hand on my back pulled me closer. He lifted his lips from mine to look into my eyes. The tender, passionate look he gave me caused me to duck my head. He made me feel very special.

Edward bought me a caramel macchiato and a ham, spinach, and cheese quiche, then led me into a secluded booth away from the couches and studying college students.

"This place is charming. How did you find it?" I asked, taking a sip of my coffee.

"I needed a place to go when Esme and Carlisle first got married and they were especially amorous. So I just stayed," he told me.

"That was when you were…" I trialed off. I couldn't say what I was thinking, because in my mind, I imagined poignant red eyes, instead of the amber eyes I was staring into now, and Edward's lips wrapped around some person's neck. I couldn't stop the shiver that ran down my spine.

"I don't want you to think of me killing here," he whispered to me. "This place was an empty park before it was ever a café. Look out the window, and you'll see the same trees and lake view that I saw half a century ago."

I looked out the window at the serene view.

"I was thinking of the pain you must have been in, and how lost you were. Were you able to find peace here?" I asked, quietly.

"Yes, and I wanted to share it with you," he said somberly.

"Thank you."

I drank my coffee and ate, enjoying the view with Edward.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a past in Chicago?" I asked when I realized he must have killed all over the city.

"There's no sense in avoiding this place because of the dark history I have with it. I didn't want to stop you from being happy," he explained.

"Moving here was supposed to make you happy," I told him.

He laughed. "This is why marrying you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am happier than ever in a place that I thought would always make me sad."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand. "I'm so glad you chose to live here," he told me and before leaning in for a kiss. Holding my face between his hands, he pulled my bottom lip into his mouth. The kiss was soft but it still took my breath away. "You seem to know what's best for me even when I don't."

We were in a coffee shop, and Edward had turned this moment into magic.

I couldn't keep the smile off of my face because his joy was infectious.

I took the final sip of my caramel macchiato. "It's like you're new again," I said.

We held a peaceful silence between us while Edward was playing with my ring finger. A waitress took our plates from us, and Edward left a generous tip on the table. He placed his coat around me for the subway ride home. It was getting darker as clouds full of rain swept in overhead.

Edward looked up at the sky and his face fell. Usually, an over cast sky was a good thing.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I had plans to take you somewhere else today, but I think I'll enjoy a lazy day with you just as well," he said, placing his hand on my waist.

"Where?" I asked.

"Downtown," he said, leading me down the stairs to the subway.

"Could you be vaguer?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

He glanced at me with raised eyebrows. "Yes."

"Tell me," I insisted as we entered the subway train.

"No, Bella," he said, towering over me on the subway car. My back hit one of the poles commuters use to hold on to.

"Tell me," I badgered him though my voice shook. Edward twisted a few pieces of my hair around his finger. "Don't you think you're too close to me? We're in public," I reminded him.

"No," he said, smirking. Edward placed both his hands in my back pockets, grabbing my ass and thrusting his erection against me. I opened my mouth but no sound would come out.

"Ahh, so this is how I'm going to keep you quiet." Edward knew we were playing with fire as he closed his lips over mine, but that did not deter him.

"Bella," Edward called.

"Yes," I said, looking over my work and feeling unsatisfied.

"Dinner is ready." He walked over to the bed and kissed my forehead. "I can bring it up for you if you want to keep writing."

"No, I'll join you down stairs," I said, closing the journal. "I don't know how authors write all day. It's so exhausting."

"Do you think you got anything accomplished?" he asked.

"I think I did, but it's not perfect. There are so many things I want to change, and things I wish I knew how to say, but I don't have the words."

"What are you writing about?" he finally asked. He didn't ask earlier, and I knew his curiosity would get the best of him.

I blushed. "I can't tell you," I told him, shaking my head and holding my journal to my chest.

His hands slipped around my waist. I could feel his cool breath caressing the curve of my neck.

"I'm too embarrassed. Please, don't," I begged breathlessly as he placed a soft kiss on my neck.

"You don't have to show me. I want to know," he said.

I bit my lip.

He whispered in my ear, "Did you write about me, Bella?"

I turned my head to look at him. "Either you're a good guesser or I'm painfully obvious," I said.

"A little of both I'd say," he quipped.

I handed the journal over to him in defeat. "I couldn't think of anyone else that has changed my life in a profound way."

He cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me. "I'm honored to be your muse," he said. "Come on, you have to eat now."

He took me down stairs to show me his latest food creations: silky angel hair pasta and shrimp drenched in a lemon herb sauce I couldn't get enough of. I could tell Edward was turned on while he watched me eat because he would adjust himself in his pants every so often.

Then, dessert happened and the first bite of raspberry chocolate ganache was bliss. I couldn't stop the moan that broke through my lips.

"This is ridiculous! You're going to show me up in the kitchen," I warned, taking another bite of the decadent dessert. "No more cooking for a week."

"Bella, I can never best you in the kitchen," he told me while moving behind me to message my shoulders.

My head lolled to the side as he started on the right shoulder.

"Bullshit," I groaned as he applied more pressure.

"You can taste things I can't. You can put together recipes from scratch that I can't. From what I've read, it's those small discoveries while you experiment with a recipe that can bring a meal to life." He sighed wistfully.

"What would you do if you were human for one day?" I asked.

"I'd try to experience everything I possibly could before the day is over."

"What would be at the top of your list?" I asked as he started on my left shoulder.

"Food," he said simply. "I wish I could taste what you taste. That's what drives me insane: not being able to remember the taste of food."

"That's interesting. I thought you would say sleep," I said.

"That's second on my list."

I finished my dessert, then asked to watch a movie with him in our room since the rain had not passed. His mysterious plans would have to wait for another day.

I told Edward to pick out the movie while I cleaned up the kitchen. The distinct music of the 30s filled my ears as I walked in to our bedroom. The movie brought back memories of our honeymoon.

On our honeymoon, when the cleaning crew arrived, we were forced to watch hours of movies before we could return to the bedroom, and I discovered I loved old Hollywood and its regal glamour. Old Hollywood reminded me that love could be breath taking and romantic.

Edward loved the movies too. I think he liked reminiscing about the much simpler times and entertaining the thought of me as his leading lady. He would repeat the lines of the male lead of every movie in my ear like the cheese ball he was. Tonight, I had a feeling he would do the same.

"You've been reading my books again," I said, sliding into the bed with him. It was a sweet gesture that he was trying to read all of my books; he knew how important they were to me.

When he pressed play, _Camille _appeared on the television over the fireplace in black and white.

"Guilty," he said unrepentantly. "Good things seem to happen to me when I do go through your books." He squeezed my sides and kissed my neck, his lips lingering there for a second too long.

"Behave. We have to watch the movie. I don't want to miss a thing."

He nodded his head in agreement, but his hands wouldn't stop exploring my body. The night became a maddening experience filled with flirtatious kisses and light teasing. I couldn't count how many times we had to hit rewind.

When we did behave, I watched with fascination as the book came to life before my eyes. Typically, I hated books turned into movies, but there was something special about this one. Everything stayed the same except a few minor details, but I didn't care. Marguerite risked everything for love but she did not give herself completely over to her love.

Marguerite said to Armand, "So do I. How can one change one's entire life and build a new one on one moment of love? And yet, that's what you make me want to close my eyes and do."

Armand replied while Edward spoke softly his words in my ears, "Then close your eyes and say yes. I command you."

_Who could refuse an offer like that,_ I thought. _I wouldn't have been able to. _

My eyes filled with tears as she died in Armand's arms, her one true love. She gave herself over to love when it was too late, and when planning for the future was pointless. I buried my face in Edward's chest and held on to his shirt, feeling silly and completely helpless to my emotions.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pushing away a tear with his fingers.

"Yes. I am happy that I chose to be with you," I confessed.

"I'm glad you did too," he whispered against my forehead.

"Thank you for such a wonderful evening."

"It's the least I could do for your birthday," he said easily.

I couldn't believe my ears. "What did you say?"

"You forgot your own birthday? I thought you were just avoiding the subject," Edward said, surprised.

"With school and that doctor's appointment, it must have slipped my mind," I murmured.

"You have been preoccupied lately," he agreed, hugging me close to his body.

"The journal was my birthday gift." I was just trying to make sure he didn't get me anything else for my birthday.

"I won't take it back," he told me.

"No, I want it. I love it, actually."

"Really? No argument?" He looked at me, his eyes searching mine.

"No argument." I kissed him on the nose and he smiled.

"I think I like you on birth control."

I hit him with a pillow. "Maybe I should turn in to the bitch I was earlier."

I threw my leg over his waist and began to pummel him with the pillow. "I surrender," he called out.

"That should teach you a lesson."

"You're ferocity is adorable."

"Shut it before I retaliate with something else," I giggled.

"Come here," he said.

I folded my hands and propped up my chin against Edward's chest. "I can't seem to say it enough, but I love being married to you."

"It's a lot more fun than I expected." He tickled my sides.

"Am I boring to you?" he asked, playfully glaring at me.

"Just a little," I said, yelping when he pinned me to the bed. I could tell we wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.

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**A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter The plot will pick up again in the next chapter. I'm so excited. Please review. Thanks again to my beta Mel! She's a Rockstar!**

**Xoxo, Tiff **


	8. Chapter 7

**This chapter has been beta'd by the lovely Mel. She's perfect so I reposted for you. Leave me some love at the end.**

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**7. News**

**Bella**

This morning was a perfect morning. I don't know if I had ever felt so light and carefree. A lot of my mainly was due to Edward's scheme to hold me hostage in our bed for five glorious days.

It was his idea to play hooky and I couldn't say no to him when he begged. If I wasn't addicted to Edward before, I truly had a problem now. I couldn't stand to be without those seductive eyes of his for more than twenty minutes.

I left our heated tangled bed sheets to go downstairs and start a pot of coffee while Edward was in the shower. I thought we'd be more productive this morning if we showered separately.

Then, the doorbell rang. There was no one there when I got to the door—only a brown package with thick, white paper attached to the top of it. I brought it inside and set it on the counter and then grabbed the piece of paper. I read it once, twice, and then a third time. I knew it was too good to be true. I thought we were being careful. Edward was the king of careful. Somehow we'd blown it, and our time was up. Dread crept down my spine, and I suddenly felt depressed. I should have stayed in our warm bed and let Edward lavish me with his affection until I was too tired to continue. Then maybe this letter wouldn't have ruined my morning so effectively.

The footsteps coming down the stairs told me Edward was out of the shower. I could feel his hands slide around my waist and his lips attached to my neck naturally.

"First, you refuse to shower with me and now you're trying to start breakfast without me. Isabella, I'm hurt," he said huskily. His arms drew me in closer.

Playfully, he sucked on the soft spot between my chin and my neck. I almost melted right there but reality had already coming crashing down in to my blissful haze.

"So wonderfully edible," he murmured.

His head was still stuck in our bedroom. I couldn't blame him. This weekend was amazing, and I had wanted to relive it over and over again. Well, until now.

"You should read this," I said, pushing my hand through the mess of knots that I called my hair.

Edward stopped his assault on my neck to read the elegant script written on the square of thick, plain white paper. His arms tensed around me as I felt him pull me closer to his body as if he could protect me from the threat written into the parting line of Aro's congratulatory letter:

_**I look forward to seeing the new Mrs. Cullen in person.**_

"How does he know?" I asked, releasing a shaky breath. I suddenly felt like we were being watched. My palms started to sweat and my heart started to thud heavily in my chest.

"Nothing's going to happen to you. I promise." Edward kissed my forehead and took my hand leading me back upstairs. He couldn't promise me that and he knew it. It was only a hope of his that he desperately clung to. "We'll call Alice." If anyone knew about this in our family, it would be her.

Although Edward and Alice's relationship was strained, she let him know they weren't going to check on us for some time, about four years, if everything went according to plan.

"What plan?" Edward stopped pacing a hole in the floor to growl into the phone. "Why wasn't I made aware of it in the first place?"

Alice was on speaker. Her tiny voice shouted back, "Because you're an over protective asshole, that's why! You would have locked Bella away in Forks, canceled your honeymoon and your plans to attend college."

I watched Edward's hands clench to fists at his side. "I'm her husband. It's my job to protect her not yours," he hissed.

"The hell it isn't my job to protect her, she's my sister and best friend," Alice protested.

It broke my heart to hear them argue this way. I went over to Edward and wrapped my arms around him while resting my head against his back. The tension in his body lessened, but not as completely as I had hoped.

"Tell me what you did to throw them off of her," he demanded, speaking a bit more calmly though there was still tension in his voice.

"I revealed some much needed information to Caius. It was a fair trade off, and it should keep Aro and the lot of them busy for a while," she said vaguely.

"And what happens if Caius should break your deal and come searching for Bella with one of his hunting parties?" Edward was trying to control his obvious anger. "We're risking her life right now just by being away from—"

"Shut the hell up, Edward! The point is that she's safe and able to live her life freely. It's exactly what she wants. Instead of yelling pointlessly into the phone, you should be thanking me."

"Thanking you? You want me to thank you? You've been nothing other than an insufferable wretch since we've gotten back from Isle Esme. What will I do to you Mary Alice? Tell me so I can stop myself," he begged, looking utterly defeated.

"You can't stop yourself this time," she said her voice breaking. "I have to go now."

Then she hung up.

Edward released a frustrated growl from his throat. He pulled at his hair on the sides of his head. Alice was breaking his heart, and he couldn't find a way to stop what he would eventually do to break hers.

"Am I really that much of a monster?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"No, you're not. You never were," I assured him.

"Coming here was a mistake, Bella."

I knew what he was referring to. Living in Chicago seemed to resurrect some of Edward's demons, even though he was here now without the intension to kill. Alice's doubt in Edward had resurfaced his insecurity, which I didn't see often because he always masked it.

I took his hands from his hair and lead him to sit on the side of our bed. I crawled onto his lap and cradled his face in my hands, looking in to the warm depths of his amber eyes. "I'll help stop whatever it is that you're going to do to Alice by reminding you every day of what a wonderful man you are now."

We both knew that there was no way to stop anything Alice saw, but saying the words still seemed to help.

I kissed him deeply, wanting him to feel how much I loved and believed in him. He held me tightly; I could feel his erection against my stomach. He dipped his tongue into my mouth, tasting me. I hummed my satisfaction against his lips.

"What would I do without you?" he questioned while laying me flat on my back.

He untied my robe and threw off his towel. _How had I missed that he was only wearing a towel? _I couldn't think for too long because his lips connected with mine, scrambling all thoughts not focused on him.

We grinded against each other and his hands found my breasts, massaging them. I need him. I wrapped my legs around his waist hoping he would get the hint.

He pulled back and sheathed himself inside of me. "Ugggh,"I groaned.

He moved us so that we were sitting up. I bounced in his lap, pushing him deeper inside of me. "Oh, that's it, Bella."

I moved up and down against him. I could feel my thighs burning and sweat running down my back as I raise my body and lowered it on to him. His hands moved to my hips helping me.

"You're so perfect," he breathed against my shoulder. I couldn't hold on any longer. I came around him.

"Fuck," he growled, slamming his hips up to mine and releasing.

He captured my lips kissing me relentlessly. "I love you," he said breathlessly. "I need you so much."

"I love you too," I said laying my head on his shoulder and wrapping my legs around his waist.

We were both sticky and smelled like sex yet we stayed connected for an endless amount of time before Edward decided we should get cleaned up.

"I'm just going to cut it! These knots are impossible," I complained in the shower as I ripped more hair out of a knot. "This is worse than the stupid feathers!"

"You will not cut your hair. I'll take care of it," he told me. His hands moved quickly, unknotting each strand.

"This is mostly your fault. If you had let me dry my hair last night, it wouldn't be a mess right now."

Edward turned my head and kissed me so that my words dissolved around his lips.

"Okay, you win," I said around his lips.

He could get me to do anything he wanted as long as he would kiss me in return. I let Edward finish detangling my hair and then we got ready to go out for breakfast.

"Aren't you worried just a little bit about the package that arrived today?" I asked, slipping on my underwear.

He shook his head causing his damp mess of curls to flop around. "As much as I hate to admit it, Alice had a point earlier," he told me while sitting me on his lap.

"What point was that?"

"I'm an overbearing asshole, when it comes to you and I don't want you to feel like every time there's a threat, you're going to be locked away in the house," he explained.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You only do it to protect me and keep me safe. And the Volturi are truly dangerous. They could kill our family."

"If only you were this conciliatory every time someone's trying to kill you." Edward chuckled causing my breasts to brush against him. He groaned softly in my ear then nuzzled my neck.

"Down boy," I giggled, feeling the length of him against my hip. "I want to make it out of the house."

"Let's stay home," he pled while his hands caressed my thighs and his lips left open mouthed kisses on my shoulder. "You taste—"

"No," I said, leaping from his arms. "I've fallen for that one already. Get dressed." Three more seconds in his arms and I would have been a goner.

As I walked to our closet, I looked over my shoulder to see Edward pouting on the bed, but then his eyes darkened. I froze, entranced by his eyes. And then suddenly he was in front of me with his hands on my hips and lips moving against mine stealing my breath. I whimpered when he stopped.

"I needed to taste you," he said simply. "Get dressed, Bella."

**Edward**

"Can you eat any slower," I teased Bella as she took another bite out of her cinnamon bun the size of the large plate.

"Want some?" she asked, scooping up some of the butter cream frosting with her finger and offering it to me.

I must have made a face that told her I wasn't interested because she started to laugh. I was more interested in the taste of her mouth after she finished her breakfast. All I could imagine was laying her over the table to have my way with her. I would have stretched her out on the kitchen counter if we were at home.

"Are you listening to me?" she asked feigning exasperation.

"Why did you order that gigantic thing?" I asked her. Today, her eyes seemed to be bigger than her stomach.

"Oh, it seemed really good. I eventually want to try everything on the menu," she explained.

She seemed to love this café the more we went. I watched the cinnamon bun disappear from her plate. Usually, she didn't eat so much, but our activities earlier had probably worked up her appetite.

When she finished, I told her we should take advantage of the overcast day and go to the park. She agreed.

These past five days had me more attached than normal. Going back to class tomorrow and letting her out of my sight would be a sure test of my will power. I never wanted to let her go. This morning was test. That letter was a test. I narrowly failed it until Alice called. She made me think about Bella first before I could drive a wedge between us because of my over protectiveness.

At the park, I led her on the path until I found a bench that was partially concealed by oak trees. I settled her on my lap and held her in my arms while watching her hair float in the breeze. I grasped the tendril that flew up and tucked it behind her ear. She sat on my lap and I couldn't resist kissing her.

"Edward," she chided though laughing and leaned into me.

I gave her another kiss and delighted in the warm softness of her lips. I pushed my tongue between her full lips, hoping to get lost in her as I had his morning. She allowed me to do this for only a moment before the delicate peal of a child's laughter distracted her. The toddler's parents, not too far behind him began to chase him, around a tree. Happy thoughts echoed from them. His father out-smarted the toddler by running in the reverse direction. He grabbed him and threw him up in the air, earning more giggles from the toddler.

I felt Bella's hand tighten around my collar. She didn't notice she was doing it. I wondered what about the family upset her.

"They're a beautiful family," I said, taking her chin and turning her head towards me. I needed to see her eyes they would tell me at least how she was feeling. I saw nothing but impassive eyes.

"Yes, they are," she replied, giving nothing away except the slight wavering in her voice. She wasn't telling me something, and I needed to know.

I knew her too well. Before I could ask she asked to go home. I held her close to me and kissed her forehead. I had convinced myself that she would open up eventually. However, as the day drew on and night fell she didn't speak to me. She found ways to avoid being alone in the same room with me. I listened to her clean the kitchen and then the down stairs bathroom. When I walked into the library, she was dusting my CD collection. She was only on the middle shelf, so it was obvious she had stopped cleaning because I was in the room. Breezing by me, she told me the floors upstairs needed to be mopped and then left to do so.

By nine thirty, my patience with her was running out. It was maddening to watch her pace from room to room in search of something to clean while I tried to focus on composing music. She finally came into our room with a bottle of cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other. I looked up at from my composition binder and watched her go into the bathroom.

Enough was enough. I watched her eyes go wide as I approached her. I took the bottle and rag from her hands and threw them away from us. I took her hands in mine. She knew what I wanted.

"I don't want to do this right now," she said pulling her hands out of mine.

"When do you want to do it then? When you run out of things to clean?" I growled.

She stared at me impassively.

"Dammit, Bella." My hand landed on the counter with a little too much force. She flinched. "Talk to me."

"I can't."

I would tell her, then. "You want a baby."

Again, her eyes remained vastly empty and vacant. She didn't confirm or deny my accusation which told me absolutely nothing. Her cell phone started ringing in her back pocket. She didn't make a move to answer it.

"Answer it," I told her, breaking the silence.

She answered the phone. "Hello."

Billy spoke quickly but I understood what he was saying. "Wait, Billy, slow down," Bella told him. He had told her Charlie was in the hospital.

"Why is he in the hospital?" She listened intently. "Oh, no." Her eyes started to fill up with tears. Charlie had a massive heart attack. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

She hung up the phone and brushed past me to get to the closet where her suitcase was. She tried to jump up and grab the case from the top shelf. She'd never get it that way. I moved her out of the way easily.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked. I could hear the anger rising in her voice. She wasn't really angry at me; she angry with the situation.

"Trying to help you," I said, pulling the bag down.

"Well don't." She pulled it from me and I released it. I watched as she started to pack anything she could get her hands on.

"Your father just had a heart attack. Am I supposed to watch you try to do this on your own?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, you are." She zipped up her bag and grabbed the keys to the car that were on the dresser. "Right now, I think I need some alone time. Don't follow me."

"Where are you going?" I yelled as she pulled her bag down the stairs. She couldn't be serious. She barely knew her way around Chicago and it was getting late. She'd get lost.

"Away from you." Her words stung like a slap against my face. From the top of the stairs, I watched her walk out the door.

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**That Bella and her dramatics. :D Do not fret there will be more story soon to come. **

**XoXo, Tiff**

**P.S. Leave me some love because taking a step away from the fluff has not been easy. **


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